Customer  : Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter    : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer  : Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter    : That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.


Customer  : Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter    : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?


Customer  : Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter    : I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller.


Customer  : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter    : Funny?  But then why aren’t you laughing?


Lady              : Is this my train?
Station Master    : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady              : Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take
This train to New Delhi.
Station Master    : No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.  

Teacher        : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter          : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
The game went into extra time.


Wife        : Do you want dinner?
Husband     : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife        : Yes and no.


A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
Commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, “Order, order.”
The drunkard immediately responded, “Thank you, your honor, I’ll have
A scotch and soda.”


Customer        : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in Two days time?
Post Master     : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer        : I bet you, it won’t.
Post Master     : Why not?
Customer        : It’s addressed to Mumbai.


An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
‘My trouble is,’ he said, ‘that I keep forgetting things.’
‘How long has this been going on?’ asked the psychiatrist.
‘How long has what been going on?’ said the man.


Man  : How old is your father?
Boy  : As old as me.
Man  : How can that be?
Boy  : He became a father only when I was born.


Teacher   : Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the Field”
Student   : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher   : How?
Student   : Ladies first.