Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you  about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I  don ‘ t think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?     
Student: There  is no future in  it.
………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……..

Teacher:   Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would  your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don ‘ t know  maths.
Ted: You don ‘ t know my  father!
………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ….

Mother:   David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint  me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my  report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong  Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you  now.
………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ….

Father:   Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said  3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on  Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can ‘ t make up her mind, how do I  know the right  answer?
………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ….

A  mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter  were
Watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,
Then complete silence. The daughter turned to  look at her father.
Daughter: It ‘ s mummy!
Father: How do you  know?
Daughter: She didn ‘ t say  anything.
………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ….

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for  me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can  that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was  born

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

Waiter: I ‘ ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog ‘ s  leg.
Customer: Don ‘ t tell me your problems. Give me the menu  card.

———— ——— ——— ——— —

Teacher: Simon, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the sam e  as your
brother ‘ s. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it ‘ s the   sam e  dog!

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you  anything!
Son: That ‘ s why I say she ‘ s no good!

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

Teacher: “Where were u born?”
Student: ” Singapore ,  Sir.”
Teacher: “Which part?”
Student: “All of me,  Sir.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
A  teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between   ‘ unlawful ‘
And ‘ illegal ‘ ?” Only one hand shot up.
“Ok, answer,  Joan” said the teacher.
” ‘ unlawful ‘ is when u do something the law  doesn ‘ t allow and ‘ illegal ‘ is
A sick  eagle.”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Teacher:  “How come you do not comb your hair?”
Ah Kow: “No comb,  Sir.”
Teacher: “Use your dad ‘ s then.”
Ah Kow: “No hair,  Sir.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
A boy  came home from school with his exam results.
“What did u get?” asked  his father.
“My marks are under water,” said the boy.
“What do u  mean ‘ under water ‘ ?”
“They are all below ‘ C ‘  level” 

Gregarious

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