Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hihoti hai.
Mummyne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

• Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

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There was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy of 5-6 years old. Their relationship was turning sour.

So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than carry on such a relationship.
So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid.

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Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the speed of light.
On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.
Stranger: ‘Sir, can I know your name please’
Gulshan : ‘I am Gulshan Grocer’
Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??

(more…)

Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya rai and Sonia are travelling in a train. The
train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there
is a kissing sound and then a slap!

The train comes out of the tunnel.

The womens and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Bush is bent
over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.

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Customer  : Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter    : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer  : Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter    : That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.

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 A ducks walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?”

The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn’t serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, “Got any grapes?”

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Sometime after independence three great leaders of the country -
Mahatma Gandhi, Subhash Chandra, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Jawaharlal
Nehru went to heaven.

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